I still call you a friend.
Still think of you as a besty
But it hurts me everyday to think of what I did wrong.
What I did to deserve this.
Why your ignoring me, making me feel worthless, hated, not good enough.
You made me starve myself.
Thinking you would notice.
You made me cut myself.
Thinking you might care.
You made me hate myself.
Thinking that one day you’d realize how much you mean to me.
You even made me become a new person.
A person that not even I can see through or realize what’s changed.
You’ve made me hate myself.
Hate my life.
Hate my family.
Hate my friends.
Hate myself.
Hate my body.
Hate my school.
Hate my life.
You made me become a monster.
A monster that yells and screams and swears and hits and cries.
Cry.
Most of all you make me cry.
Cry myself to sleep at night.
Cry in front of friends.
Cry in front of teachers.
of strangers.
Of guidance counselors.
You made me feel all that.
Yet.
I still call you a friend.